These days when i think about life i keep getting distracted by my own thoughts always wondering if i ever made the wrong choices loosing my Ex’s to sicknesses.
I never thought about anything else like how hard anything would get me if something happned then it did twice i think about them all the time on how it would be if they were still here.
I’ll never know cause thoughts are just feeling that come and go some are scary some are really good thoughts right now i feel so lonely the feelings that come to me tell me i should of never mixed up with them.
But i did and there gonn be on my mind until i meet them again the thing is i never see them when i have halucinations just strangers i’v never met in life.
I live in constant fear but over come it by saying in my mind i’v been there i know whats it’s like.
4 times i nearly passed on in each of those times i’v seen things that are fictional to reality but in my mind seemed real i try to speak to them but they just stare.
But one thing i’v learned from all this is let it be never trace your steps into something you can’t feel but see.
I’m on a wheel chair now and things i used to do are harder for me it’s harder in the winter cause the snow is too soft i get stuck easily and for some reason i feel thats the way it’s supose to be for me.
On the next entry i’ll tell a story i know from being homless to what i live by now and the way i lost the people i love.
Thank you all God bless…
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I never knew this site still excited now that I know i’ll think of something to put in here maybe a short story or daily activities like life in the city or what it’s like to be disabled at times it’s hard cause I think i’m losing the use of my hands but who knows what is next the city of thunder bay is slowly taking me apart ..i’ll be back another day to post something on my homepage you all have a good evening.
It’s been awhile since I updated in the past years I’ve seen so much and lost my parents nephew and 3 nieces iv been hit hard by these losses even lost friends and Everytime I go out I never see them in there usual places where they used to hang out.
As I sit here on my hospital bed I feel so lonely for my friends I lost but I have to move on and hope that past. Friends forgive me and always love you forever I’ll take that love with me to the grave
I live out there in the concreate jungle in care now I guess my left foot was amputated dew to a large frost bite I haven’t stepped out yet but I will iv expierenced atot since being here.
Seen elders learning to walk on things and learning to walk again i’m going there soon see what the out come will be looks hard but i’ll get used to it hope so…I miss my cat too haven’t seen him in 35 days but i’m gonna ask the staff if can bring him here just for a few hours or less depending on how long or they even let him in here…anyways you all have an awesome day out there…………………………..
Today when I went out I saw many ppl and all were drinkin but not me…………………..that’s it that’s my day what about you I need your feed back
I been going through a lot in the past few years but I think I will try and do better thing to better nyself but what do maybe i’ll find away but finding it won’t be easy…we things are never easy but I will try.
In the coming days i’ll find what to write on here in the next couple days after that i’ll be on my way to finishing what ever it is i’m chasing well i’v writin enough be back again someday you all be safe.
It been way too long long since iv been on here i’ll write a short story after
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